Really Wacky Days For Hamtaro
by Sunlight in the Sky
Summary: Not for any of you Oxnard or Rini fans. R&R please!
1. Wacky Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro. Or any other characters except Candycane. 

(All the ham-hams are at the clubhouse)

Bijou: Deck the halls with bow—

Boss and Stan: Fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

Bijou: Would you shut up?

Boss: Uh… okay.

Hamtaro: Oh, what a big Christmas tree! IwantitIwantitIwantit!!!!! (Bites tree)

Bijou: Get your filthy teeth off my tree!!!

Hamtaro: But I want it!!!

Oxnard: (Eyes big, watches in awe)

Rest of Ham-hams: (Get together in one big bunch)

Hamtaro: (Lets go)

Bijou: So your teeth won't be filthy, use this Wonderham floss and toothpaste.

Hamtaro: But hamsters don't brush!

Oxnard: I do!

(Everyone stares at Oxnard)

Oxnard: What?

Bijou: I have an owner who owns a cat and I'm not afraid to use her.

Oxnard: But I didn't do anything!

Bijou: Not you, dolt, Hamtaro!

Hamtaro: (Brushes teeth and flosses them with Wonderham products)

Bijou: Don't you feel better?

Hamtaro: How do you spell no and beep?

Ham-hams: (Gasp) (Gasp)

Bijou: Bad you! This show is censored!

Hamtaro: Censored?

Oxnard: Censored, dolt, censored!

Boss: Duh! Some kid was liable to hear that word!

(Knock, knock)

Pashmina: I'll get it!

Boss: No! Don't!

Pashmina: It's only Candycane.

Boss: Who's Candycane?

Pashmina: She's my music teacher. She even plays the harp!

Penelope: Ookyoo, Ookwee, Ookyoo, Ookwee…

Translation: I want the gift of talk for Christmas.

Boss: What instrument do you play?

Pashmina: The harp.

(Candycane's knocking gets louder)

Pashmina: You guys better go. I don't want her to know that you're here.

Hamtaro: Uh, kay?

(All the ham-hams except Pashmina leave)

Pashmina: (Opens door)

Candycane: You, your instrument and your friends better leave.

Pashmina: Why?

Candycane: Santa will come here tonight. And he doesn't like hams. He'll drop coal on all of you.

Pashmina: OH YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE HECK OVER HERE!!!!!!

(Everyone comes over)

Maxwell: What?

Pashmina: Santa's going to drop coal on us!

Oxnard: Yay! I'll die! So then I don't have to be out of character! Yeah! Let's have a party! Film my death! Yeah! No OOC! No OOC! No OOC!

Pashmina: Raise your hand if you want to live.

(Everyone raises his or her hand except Oxnard)

Dexter: Oh, go jump off Mount Everest!

Later 

Oxnard: (Writes down final words which are) Bye-bye cruel world! AAAAAAA! (Throws it down Mount Everest)

Oxnard: (Jumps off Mount Everest) Bye-bye cruel world! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dies)

Dexter: I didn't mean to kill nobody.

Hamtaro: You told him to jump off Mount Everest!

Pashmina: (Singing) Why'd you kill him, oh, why'd you kill that kid… We lost him and there is about ten memories of that boy, oh why, Dexter, why, why, why? Now you got Kana and Laura feeling sorry…

Hamtaro: And not feeding me!

Pashmina: (singing) And not feeding Hamtaro correctly, oh why'd you kill him Dexter, why'd you kill Oxnard?

(Knock, knock)

Voice: We are the HHP. Surrender Hamtaro and Dexter in 10, 9, 8…

Bijou: They're going to put tear gas in here!

Boss: Open the door!!!

Bijou: (opens it)

HHP: We were only to eight…well, surrender Hamtaro and Dexter. Oh, and leave. Santa's going to drop coal on you.

Candycane: So you believe me now, huh?

Boss: Hold on. HHHAAAMMMTTTAAARRROOO!!! DDDEEEXXXTTTEEERRR!!!

Hamtaro and Dexter: (arrive) What?

HHP: You are now arrested. (Handcuffs Hamtaro and Dexter) Anything and everything you say can and will be used in court against you. (AN: Okay…If I got it wrong…sorry)

Hamtaro's Records

Name: Hamtaro

Accused of: Saying a bad word on a censored TV show

Getting jailed for: Ten Episodes

Dexter's Records

Name: Dexter

Accused of: Killing Oxnard the innocent

Getting jailed for: Not getting jailed. Let's just say X (

Dexter: I'm not going to jail?

HHP: No. Death Row.

Dexter: It was suicide, I tell you! He jumped off Mount Everest.

HHP: You told him to jump.

Dexter: But he jumped! I didn't push him!

HHP: You won't be living very long. Enjoy the cell while you can.

Dexter: NOOOOOOO! (Gets locked up)

Hamtaro: (Is out after ten days) I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry for Dexter. I wonder how he'll die.

Bijou: Dexter's dead.

Hamtaro: Already? What'd he get?

Bijou: Lethal Knife Injection.

Hamtaro: And his funeral is?

Bijou: Already buried.

Hamtaro: How long has it been?

Bijou: Oh, about a year now.

Hamtaro: Am I in a coma?

Bijou: You are. Wake up, Laura's gonna pour water on your head!

Hamtaro: Wha--- (Wakes up soaking wet)

Laura: You're ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hugs Hamtaro) Merry Christmas! (Throws Hamtaro out the window) And now you're not… Muhahahahahahaha!!!!

IwantitIwantitIwantit I want it, I want it, I want it!

HHP Ham-ham Police


	2. A Day in Sailormoon Land

The Wacky Adventures Of Hamtaro Part 2

By Sunlight in The Sky

Disclaimer: Dun own Hamtaro...and if I did, Jingle would be dead by episode 4. Or Sailormoon. And if I did, Rini/Chibi-Usa would be dead by the Sailor Moon S movie.

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Hamtaro was magically alive again.

"Hey, Hamtaro! Why don't you go cause chaos?"

"YES! CHAOS!" Hamtaro jumped up. "CHAOS! WOOOOOOOH!"

"Did I hear chaos?" Rini ran to Hamtaro. "We can be partners in crime!"

"YAY US!" Rini and Hamtaro did the London clap thingy (I don't own the suite life of Zack/Cody either!)

"Momma, look!" Rini ran up to Serenity.

"Oh, it's a...hamster..." Serenity cringed. "You know how much I hate rodents..."

"But this thing will cause chaos, JUST LIKE MEEEE!"

"Ok, you can keep him." Serenity smiled, "As long as you keep your room clean and do your chores and stuff, and make sure that thing stays away from Setsuna...you know how she is..."

"Every little thing that enters the room is a cockroach. She must kill it." Serenity and Rini recited. "And that's what happened to Endy."

"IT IS! IT IS!" Setsuna yelled from her room.

"I wish I wasn't here right now..." A beaten Endy muttered.

"COCKROACH MUST DIE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

25 Minutes Later

"MY CITY!" Serenity screamed in horror, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CITY!"

"It's not my fault, Momma--"

"GROUNDED! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR LIFE! FOREVER!"

"It was only one city!" Rini whined.

"Yeah, but it was MY city!"

"But I've done worse!"

"I know. The whole country of Greenland. Infected with Chibi-disease." Serenity said, "Did you ever apologize to them?"

"Um..."

"I want you to apologize to Greenland right now! Now go to Greenland and say 'I'm sorry' to every penguin, polar bear, scientist, military official, person, river and snowflake! NOW!"

"But what if the snowflakes melt in my hands?"

"Then apologize to the clouds!"

"But what if the clouds go away?"

"Apologize to the sky!"

"But what if the sky goes away?"

"Apologize to the sun!"

"But what if the---"

"JUST GO!"

Hamtaro bit Serenity in the back of the head for no apparant reason. Serenity picked him off and held him by his ear.

"And as for you, you're going in Setsuna's room! We're trading you for Endy!"

"WHAT?"

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Ok, that wasn't the longest thing ever...don't flame! And remember, reviewing gets longer chappies! And the longer the better!


	3. A Day With Inuyasha Pt 1

Wacky Days For Hamtaro Chapter 3: A Day With Inuyasha

By Sunlight in the Sky

Disclaimer: Dun own Inuyasha or Hamtaro!

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In the middle of the night, a 10-year-old girl ran to a well in a temple, holding a bag filled with...ham-hams? (A/N: I can't remember the name of it...)

She dropped it down the well, and ran away to wherever she lives at.

Two hours later, it was daylight, and the Ham-hams rubbed their sleepy eyes.

"I had some kind of dream. I dreamt we were dropped to the bottom of the well by Hamtaro's owner!" Bijou said.

"Hey, so did I!" Howdy said, too stupid to not look at his surroundings.

"Ookyoo..."

Penelope ran around the bottom of the well like an idiot. "OOOKYOOO! OOKYOO!"

"What is it, Penelope--oh my gosh..."

The Hamhams finally realized they were at the bottom of a well.

"Let's climb out and see where we're at!" Hamtaro started climbing.

Five minutes later, they were out of the well, and face-to face with a dog-human, AKA hanyou, AKA Inuyasha.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Inuyasha took out the Tetsuseiga. "DIE EVIL HAM--"

"Sit, boy!"

Inuyasha fell face-first on the ground.

"Hey, what was that for!"

"For trying to kill poor-defenseless little creatures." Kagome scooped up Boss. "Such a lovely hamster. I'll name you Frilly."

"FRILLY?" Boss bit Kagome's finger, drawing blood. He jumped out of Kagome's hands. "INUYASHA, GO KILL THAT HAMSTER!"

"Yes!" And then Inuyasha chased Boss all the way around a tree, until Boss tripped on some tripping device.  
"DIE!" And then Inuyasha cut Boss in half.

The Ham-hams cringed. "Now who's next?"

The hamsters scattered.

"Inuyasha, you chased them away!" Kagome hit Inuyasha with her fist. "Sit!"

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For some strange reason, Hamtaro and co. found Rin.

"Oh, such cute little hamsters!" Rin scooped up Bijou. "You're so pretty...I'm gonna name you Paige."

Bijou smiled.

"Come on little Hamsters."

The hamsters followed Rin to Sesshy's lair.

As soon as they saw Sesshomaru, they turned and ran back to Rini.

Serenity put them all in a plastic bag and dropped them down the well...

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I know, short chappie, but you guys have got to start coming up with ideas! Review, people! PLEASE! Oh yeah, and I don't own Sailormoon.


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